You may be wondering why I’m inside on my computer on this fabulous day. Well, I am heading outside soon. That is, if walking to my car to go shopping counts as being outside. Don’t get too pushy, I was feeling proud of myself for getting up at 8:30 this morning. Night shift does strange things to this girl.

Driving home the other morning and the car in front of me slows to a crawl.

Why was there a buggy on my street? Where was this buggy with a ladder strapped to the side headed? If only I knew the answers to the hard questions of life.

I now am sure that I know even less about plants and gardening than I realized before. A few weeks ago I was so happy that the raspberries were finally dying so I could get past them without having 5 branches of briers stuck all over me. On my way to work last night I once again am scratched by the berry bushes. And low and behold, they are live, green and covered with raspberries once again. So now raspberries come back to life for a 2nd picking? Goodness.

(If the rest of the world already knew this fun fact about raspberries, please just allow me to remain in my thinking that this is some freak of nature. )

Too bad the raspberries aren’t mine for the eating, but my landlords. To me, all they are is a nuisance to between them and the ever-growing pumpkin plant that is rapidly taking over my fence.

I spend every day over estimating how much I can get done. I go to bed thinking about the 3 things I didn’t accomplish. Maybe if I go without a to-do list I’ll be happily surprised at the end of the day with what I got done. Maybe?

Well I’m off to buy some hiking shoes. Can I possibly break them in within the next 2 weeks? I’m considering sleep walking with them on. Pretty sure my feet may hate me this is all over.

Happy Friday!

Scene 4: I came home late at night, which is always worse for finding a parking space on my block. I drive around the block, nothing. Coming around again, I decide to try a spot that will obviously only contain about 3/4 of my car. But since my roommate’s car is the one in front of the space, I can tap her car if necessary to fit, right? (ok, I do have to live with her, but at least I know she’s not gonna send a hit-man after me or anything. Some of my neighbors I can’t be completely sure.) Sorry Carolyn.

Parallel parking skills come shining through…. Problem is, even if you have the best skills in the world, if the spot is too small, it’s just too small. But I keep trying. And trying. And trying. Maybe I can get this? I look around to make sure no one is watching me. No one. Finally I decide it’s good enough. I’m in, with only a few inches between my car and Carolyn’s. Oh well.

I reach in my car to get my bags over groceries and make eye contact with a grandma, sitting on her porch about 5 feet from where I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to park. She just stares. You crazy white girl…. If only this was the first time she’s watched me do this.

I confidently awkwardly grab my too many bags of groceries and start walking up the street. Hitting the lock button on my key remote, my car alarm blares. Apparently that was the panic button? I rush into my house, glad it’s dark out.

Scene 5: I’m at the eye doctor, helping my sister pick out new frames. While I’m there I ask them to tighten up/straighten my glasses. She lays them down on the table, they’re obviously crooked. I stop her before she begins to straighten. “I think my ears aren’t level” I’ve been through this before. She works on them for a little and hands them back to me. I put them on, and she thoughtfully looks at my face. “Are they straight?” I ask. “Well…” she keeps looking at me “Can you put your one eyebrow down? It’s higher than the other”

Help… I never really knew I had control of my individual eyebrows. Focus Alissa. Straighten those eyebrows. I laugh, which immediately makes things worse. I don’t even know which eyebrow is the one in question here. She laughs too. It’s hard to tell if those glasses are straight when my eyebrows are all out of alignment. God must have been trying to balance things out “Well since her one ear is a little higher, lets fix that by having the opposite eyebrow a little higher. It’ll keep her from getting headaches”

Now don’t be looking at my face strange next time you see me trying to figure this all out. Your ears probably aren’t centered either.

Scene 5: We get back to my parents after picking out the glasses, only to discover that Amy’s new frame are identical to Kaitlyn’s frames. Same color and everything. I had been a little suspicious of this but thought they were at least slightly different.

The bad part of all this? I helped Kaitlyn pick hers out too. Here’s your warning–get Alissa to help you pick out glasses, and you can join the caramel Liz Claiborne glasses club.